Becoming a Runner

When it comes to running I have always second guessed myself. Am I really a runner or do I just wish I was? Can I actually run 3.1 miles (a 5k) without stopping? It usually takes me a mile to get into running. The first three minutes I am asking myself "Why am I running? Why am I doing this to myself?" In the first three minutes my body hurts. It is rejecting the movement in my legs. My body says "No! Stop running! Go back inside and lay on the couch, watch your shows..." I literally have to talk myself into running.

I think a person who thinks themselves a "runner" enjoys running. In training for my most recent 5k I didn't feel like a runner. I didn't enjoy running. Every run was difficult. I needed to talk myself through 3 miles.  When I ran my 5k I thought, "You know a half marathon is 4 times this and then some?" How on earth could I run a half marathon when I struggle running 3.1 miles. Even though it was tough I kept going in my training. I started running 3.5 miles as my regular run. My "long run" became 5 miles.  Then I ran 4 miles as my regular run. 

I had a hard time running 3.5 miles. That is only .4 miles more than my 5k, but I struggled with it. This week I ran 4 miles on Tuesday and 4 miles on Thursday. On Tuesday my 3rd mile was my fastest. I also felt the best during my 3rd mile. I felt as if I could run forever. Isn't that weird? One day running 3.5 miles seems impossible to me, and the next I am running 4 miles and feeling like I could go farther. Last Saturday I ran 5 miles. I went out too late in the day and it was hot. That made me slower and sweatier but I didn't feel exhausted at the end of the run.  I am feeling more and more confident that I can run a half marathon with the training program I am using.

 I cannot pinpoint the moment in which everything changed, but I have become a "runner". I enjoy running. I feel good running.  My body no longer screams "Stop, please, for heaven's sake stop running!" I get to a point where I think "I could run for a lot longer than this. Yes, I think I could run a half marathon!" Like I said before, it takes me a mile to get into it but after that I just go. I listen to music and sometimes want to start dancing but I save my energy.  Of course some days are better than others. On Thursday at mile 3 I thought "I hope I can make it home". 

Tomorrow I am running 6 miles, which is my longest run so far (or ever in my life!). I don't have a goal time to run the 6 miles. The training program I follow by Hal Higdon says not to worry about times in my training runs. And since this is my first half marathon I should make the goal to finish, not necessarily set a goal time to finish in. I am both excited and nervous to run 6 miles. I am excited because it is about the halfway point of a half marathon. I am excited to run 6 miles without stopping. I am nervous because I have yet to run that far my whole life. I am nervous to see how my body reacts to going that far, and how long it will take me to get into running. It is my first real long run.

I have read and heard to bring along sustenance on a long run. My friend told me about sport beans and gels. Essentially they are carbs and sugar and are supposed to give you a boost of energy when you are on long runs.  I went and got some sport beans (basically they are jelly beans) and a "shot blok energy chew".  The shot bloks have two servings, each 100 calories and provide 24 grams of carbs, 12 grams of sugar and also provide potassium. The sport beans are 1 serving packages of 100 calories and 25g carbs and 17g sugar.

I think I will try out the shot bloks tomorrow. I got the strawberry flavor. I will let you know how they are.  I am also open to other suggestions of food/energy boost to have on long runs.  I might try out a book on tape on one of my long runs as well.

Running is awesome! And I am proud to finally call myself a "runner"!

Losing Weight Motivates...or does it?

*****Disclaimer: I have posted a picture of me at the bottom of this post to show how I have improved over the last few months. If you don't want to see me 'half' naked then don't scroll to the bottom of the post.*****

The end of the month is such a drag for me. That is when we run out of money for groceries. I haven't been eating the best lately. I have been eating out of the food storage pantry. That means tuna casseroles, spaghetti, meals containing "cream of" soups... Must I go on? I need to plan our money out better to make it go the whole month. For that matter I should probably plan out a whole month worth of meals. We would totally have veggies right now if I didn't splurge on foods earlier this month. Next month I will focus on how you can eat healthy without breaking the bank. I wasn't a good example of it this month but it can be done!

I wanted to talk to you about weight loss. The world is under the impression that the number of pounds you weigh is what is important rather than your measurements. I disagree. Even at my skinniest (well skinniest as an adult, not a teen) I was "overweight". At my height I am supposedly at a healthy weight between 105 and 125 pounds. I was 135 before having kids and I didn't look fat. I am an hourglass shape. I am a Marilyn Monroe. I have a naturally bigger bust and a tiny waist. Well I did. When I stand on the scale I feel like a heffer, especially if I have been working out hard and eating healthy and haven't lost any weight. But when I measure myself and see that my body has slimmed down by inches then I feel pretty good.

That being said, losing weight does feel really good. I do both. I weigh myself and measure because I do want to see a difference in my body. Losing weight motivates. When I see that I have lost 5 pounds I feel motivated to continue on. When I see I have lost an inch in my waist but see no change on the scale I do feel like "man, but I wish I could lose more weight". Dang society! It did that to us. It makes us think the scale still matters a whole lot. I am trying to get myself to think more on the line of just measuring rather than weighing but it is so hard.

When I started this blog I was 154 pounds and I have no idea what my measurements were. In January I weighed 157 and started to measure myself. I am currently 145 pounds. I have lost 12 pounds! That is very motivating to me. Now let me tell you about measurements. I measure my chest, waist, hips, arms, and thighs. I measure my arms when flexed because I am trying to build muscle in them and want to see bigger measurements there.  I will share with you my measurements from January in the bust, waist and hips versus what I am now. Then we'll talk a little more.
January 14th, 2013
Weight 157.8
Chest 37"
Waist 32.5"
Hips 42"

May 3rd, 2013
Weight 145.8
Chest 35.5"
Waist 28.5"
Hips 39"

So what does this mean? I have lost 12 pounds. I am slimmer in my chest by 1.5 inches. My waist is 4 inches smaller than it was in January. My butt is smaller by 3 inches. That is pretty awesome.  When I look in the mirror I can see it. When I looked at the pictures I took today I don't see it so much. But I am looking at all my flaws, not at my improvement. Society tells me that I should look like this:

and not like this:

The above picture I found under plus-size models. That is sick! This woman looks great but she is a plus-size model. I know maybe I am going all over the place. The point I want to make is that we are taught by the world that we should look a certain way. Thin and pretty. Well I am 5'1". I will never look like bikini girl up there. I feel like I look like plus size model over here and there is nothing wrong with that. She looks great. The world telling her that she is a plus-size model is messed up.

Try not to focus on the number on the scale. That is my goal this month. Focus on the measurements. Focus on feeling good. Focus on feeding your body good and healthy foods.  It's not about the numbers. It's about being healthy.

And now here is how I am looking these days:

I guess none of these skinny women who wear bikinis have a scar from their appendectomy either! I rock that scar!

Detox time again...

I have had a set back. My husband's mom and nephew just came to visit and I did not eat very healthy. My body was upset with me for eating so many carbs and so much fat.  How dare I do that! I did feel weighed down by the highly processed foods I was eating. I also have been feeling bloated and fat and just yucky! It is amazing what bad food can do to you.  It is also amazing how fast you can get addicted to bad food. Once I started I couldn't stop. I wanted to. I wanted to detox my body but I just kept eating pizza and all you can eat Chinese buffet and all that.  Blah! That's how I feel. So it was time to detox again and rid my body of the toxins I put in it last week.

I started my detox yesterday. I drank loads of water and some Naked and Bolthouse juices. I really need a juicer. You are all welcome to donate one to me if you want! Drinking store juice is not the best because there is always so much sugar in it (even if it is natural from the fruit).  If you juice for yourself, a) you know exactly what is going in and b) you can add a ton more vegetables and just a little fruit. Anyway, I ate an apple. I had some watermelon. I ate cauliflower and broccoli and carrots. But mostly I drank these juices. The juices I had were the Bolthouse Green juice and the Naked Mango one. Oh how my body rebelled against me. I wanted all the food I saw. I wanted to eat donuts and cake and things I usually don't even think about.  I wasn't hungry, but I was food lust hungry. Do you know what I mean? My body was fine nourishment wise but I craved food--the fatty and sugary food. My body was going through withdrawals!

I also walked 5.5 miles yesterday with my sister-in-law. It felt good to get my body moving. My legs are sure tired today! I did my running for my half marathon this morning and now I think I need to rest my legs. Blogging and catching up on some shows are a great excuse to put my legs up.

I am doing better with my detox today. I made a smoothie this morning. It had frozen berries in it, water, a banana, some of the green juice and the mango juice, kale, and spinach in it. It was good and it was filling. Today my plan is to continue to drink tons of water and to keep drinking the juices. I will also eat raw fruits and vegetables.  I have apples, bell peppers, spinach, parsley, and cilantro so I may have a salad for lunch but without a dressing on top.

I also have some carrot juice in the fridge but I think it is nasty! I may make another smoothie later with avocado so I might add some carrot juice to that. I feel good. Detoxing my body and eating whole foods makes me feel so much better. I feel energized and healthy. I will continue to share this week's detox with you. Later this week I will make some more raw meals. I will post pics along with recipes.

Man, Olive Garden sounds so good right now! Hahaha. Mind over stomach!

A Much Needed Update

I know it has been too long since my last post.  I am pretty disappointed in myself.  The whole reason I started blogging about my fitness is because I wanted there to be a blog where someone wrote the good and the bad days. A blog where someone wrote about the set backs. Well when I started having set backs I didn't want to blog about them hahaha. What a hypocrite! Well I'm back and I'm better than ever.

A lot has changed since the end of January. I must tell you that I am no longer doing P90x. It is a great program, don't get me wrong. But it is very time consuming. Each workout is at least an hour long. My husband was too busy with school to keep doing it with me and it was hard to motivate myself to do it alone. In week 5 of P90x things started going downhill.  We got sick. Week 6 we had people visiting. Thing after thing, reason after reason came up and our P90x workouts kind of fizzled out.

It is ok though. I have been re-evaluating my eating habits and workout habits. I was starting to get fit on P90x when we were really doing the program. But I never lost weight. Right now that is most bothersome to me.. the extra weight I am carrying around. I don't like seeing it. I don't like feeling it.  I want it gone! I have always heard it is 80% diet and 20% working out.  I needed to change the way I was eating if I wanted to loose the weight. No more mint oreos (which are my FAVORITE!! But let's be honest here. Every time I ate them I got a stomach ache. So if they were causing me stomach problems every time I ate them, they couldn't be good, could they?) No more deserts every night, or even every week. But it is so hard to make a healthy change. I needed a kick in the pants to do it.

My family started a health challenge at the beginning of this year. My brother and sister-in-law have lost a lot of weight since January. They are doing great! They inspire me so much. And also make me really jealous because even though I was working out I didn't feel like much was happening. I wasn't loosing weight. I wasn't eating great. I wasn't feeling great. I was jealous that they were doing so well and I wasn't.

So what made me change? Because I have changed. It wasn't my mom (who IS an inspiration to me) telling me I should eat this and that and not eat this and that. It wasn't my brother and his wife who are eating and exercising and losing weight and getting healthy. In part it was myself. Waking up one day and kicking myself in the pants. And in part it was a few documentaries I came across on Netflix: Hungry For Change and Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  I won't go into detail about them right now. If you get a chance, watch them for yourself.  They opened my eyes. And I decided to  make a change. Not just go on a diet. But to make a lifestyle change in the way I view and eat food.

I am not becoming a vegan or a vegetarian. I am not going 100% raw. I am simply taking processed food out of my diet. I am not eating foods that have chemicals in them (you would be surprised how many foods are filled with chemicals). I am not eating foods with added sugar (like foods that don't even need sugar but have it in them....). Well.. I am just trying to eat whole foods and fruits and vegetables. 

I decided to start off my healthy eating change with a detox. I needed to get rid of the toxins in my body and also get rid of the cravings I was having to sweet things.  I wish I had a juicer. Watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead made me want one. Alas, I don't have one nor do I have the money to buy one. That made my detox a little tricky. I wanted to do part juice part fruits and veggies for my detox, but how could I juice without a juicer? At the store I found a juice brand called Naked. They had a few juices that had only fruits and veggies in them--no added sugar and no preservatives or chemicals.  The only down side is they had more fruits in them than I would have liked.  It was better than nothing though, and better than starving myself. I didn't want to starve myself. I just wanted to get the junk out of my body.

I did 3 days of juice/fruits and vegetables.  I drank tons of water. I had a cooked sweet potato. I made a yummy salad from detoxifying veggies such as cucumber, parsley, cilantro, spinach.  I ate apples, cantaloupe. I was satisfied by what I was eating. The first day was hard. I felt "hungry". I wasn't really hungry. I wanted naughty food. I wanted sugar. I wanted Twinkies (weird because I NEVER want those). I wanted pizza.  It is funny because if I hadn't been on a detox I probably wouldn't have even thought about pizza.  I wanted all these things but I DID NOT QUIT. I DID NOT CHEAT. I kept thinking "Why did you do this detox, Kate? To be healthy. To get rid of the junk!" And that helped me.

The second day was better. But I had to go to the grocery store to get more veggies.  It was so hard to be in the store. The cakes looked so good. The chips looked good. My body was saying "Screw this detox and give me some good food!!" Mind over matter.  I repeated the words I would hear Gina from the Biggest Loser say, "Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever." I also knew it wasn't what I wanted. I want to be healthier.

The third day was hard because I did not prepare myself for the day. We had a play date planned and I did not bring food for myself. I was very hungry that day. I did eat a bite of my daughters peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I don't think that ruined my day.

I decided to do a raw food day for the fourth day of my detox.  It was a good day. I found a raw food book from the library and chose recipes from it to make.  Every meal tasted good and sustained me. I had a raw nut granola for breakfast with almond milk.  I ate this walnut pate on tomato for lunch. I had a mock rice pilaf for dinner with lots of veggies on the side. The meals were so tasty.  Again I drank a lot of water.  I lost 5 lbs from those four days of detoxing.  That felt really good.  

Today is my first day off the detox, but I am sticking with eating healthy foods (minimally or no processed foods.)  I made the raw nut granola again for breakfast. I made a quinoa curry for lunch.  I made pizza with a cauliflower crust for dinner. That was really good.  Since I have started my detox I haven't had any meat.  I have had hardly any dairy. I feel really good! I feel like the junk I had been putting in my body was weighing me down.  I feel like I have more energy. I feel more motivated to get up and move around.  I feel a difference in my body.

As for exercise, I am still working out even though I am no longer doing P90x.  Actually, I really want to run a half marathon. I found one in July and I have started a training program. I run on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I cross train on Mondays and Wednesdays. On Fridays I do yoga.  I am really excited about the half marathon.  The other day we ran 2.5 miles and usually I would stop several times or quit altogether. This time I felt like I could do it. After doing this detox I feel better emotionally and mentally. I feel more positive.

The most important thing in the world to me is my spirit. It dwells inside my body.  It is important to have a healthy body to hold my spirit. I can't weigh down this body I was given with crap, no matter how good it tastes. One of the documentaries I watched said our bodies were not made to digest these highly processed foods. I believe it! And I am going to continue eating healthy. Like I said before, I am not going to become fully vegan, or vegetarian, or raw.  But I also think it is good to eat vegetarian meals, and vegan meals, and to eat raw now and again.

And I am motivated to get this blog going again. I will be posting the recipes I find. I will be telling about my struggles and victories. Tomorrow I run 3 miles so you will be hearing how that goes. Thanks for supporting me in my pathway to being HEALTHY and fit!